Apr 12, 2009

The premium on boyfriends and birthdays

Well, I had my birthday recently, and actually I should be the last person saying this. But well, even the last person has a right to say :)

And I thought. Among all that hype and self-created excitement, among the Ooohs and Aaaahs and Oh cooooools, I thought - don't we place too much of importance on birthdays? And boyfriends?

I mean, yes we were born on this day. Celebrate, be vain, feel happy. But is it THAT important? As excited as I am, I always have this certain gloomy feeling on the day. This emerges from the fact that it is no different from any other day and I am disappointed. Maybe, for the kind of madness I expect, it turns out, this could be on any other day too. The sky doesn't turn purple, the trees don't start singing for me, and I don't end up having a million followers just for that day. It's as normal as normal can go.

And moving from birthdays to the other half of the title of this post - boyfriends.

Hey, i am totally in favour of them, i wouldn't mind one now and then either. Nor am I asking you to let go off yours. I am just noting down my observations. I may be guilty of the same, who knows...

With boyfriends, it seems like there is some compulsion. I see people go to no end to arrange a surprise for a one month old boyfriend and forget birthdays or anniversaries of childhood best friends. The irony - they break up the next month. So that sets me wondering, is the concentration of effort in one direction actually necessary? Is it so necessary to sweeten a relationship in this way in the beginning for it to last? Or is it like a colleague put it - 'because there is the possibility of sex involved'. Crude yes, but possible probabilities. Nothing wrong or right again, but it makes one wonder.

Another instance would be spending time. Family and friends are with you all your life. And sometimes when it comes to choosing who to spend your time with, you pick the new lover. Spare time can be left for the other people.

I may be opening a Pandora's box with this post here, and debates, comments, criticisms, pointing out my faults, everything is welcome. But one thing cannot be denied, there is definitely a premium.